Breaking up is hard to do. There is no doubt about it. If there were we wouldn’t have thousands and thousands of break up songs across all genres of music. The songs serve a purpose; together they provide virtual shoulders to tear on, ammunition to take out anger, inspiration to move forward, and so much more. But when the song is done what happens? That’s where I come in.
Here are 5 tips for not just surviving the breakup, but turning it into something fantastic for the future:
1. Get it all out. Seriously ball it up. You can’t move forward if you are harboring unexpressed emotions, so buy yourself a ton of Kleenex and some pizza or ice cream, or throw some running shoes on, and cry to your heart’s content. If people are watching, great. If not, probably better. Just prep with some good eye cream to de puff your eyes the next day.
2. When you are done, be done. It is hard. It sucks. It isn’t fair. But the hard truth is that when the relationship is over, it’s over. When you are done crying, you are done crying. If you latch on to the reactions and aftermath to the breakup, there are less chances of you getting over him/her/it. So just take a deep breath, cry it out per point one, and then be done with it.
3. Don’t get stuck on the past. Could you have done something different? Maybe. Could they have reacted better? Probably. But when push comes to shove, the split happened, and it happened for a reason. You can’t change the past, so there is no point fixating on it. You will just drive yourself insane.
4. Get excited about the future. Life is a journey, and every person in that journey serves, and has served, a purpose in your life. Look at the breakup as a scene from a movie, the movie of you, and resolve for a grand Oscar winning finale in acts to come.
5. Celebrate. You are alive. You are beautiful. You are brilliant. It’s time to celebrate all that you have, for yourself and to offer others. When you really start celebrating the little things that make up you and your life, you will be open to receive and an even better partner.
Now pick up the Kleenex, plan a party, and get to it! Life is short, and being single is actually pretty awesome. Just have a little faith in how wonderful it is all going to turn out.
I get asked a lot what to do when you hate your job and want to do something else, but are not sure of what…
I personally made a massive career transition (Wall Street trading floor to Wellness Entrepreneur…the difference in noise level alone was deafening! :) ), so clearly I believe in taking risks and following your dreams. But as LawCrossing quoted me on (and eliminated the important beef of what I have to say), I believe that you should never quit right in the moment you are just dying too. Rather, stay on your job for 3-6 months more. It may feel torturous, but it allows for three things:
1. Steady income to cushion your move
2. Time to thoroughly plan out next steps
3. Structure to develop your vision
Then, when you have an economic cushion, a step by step plan, and a clear, thought out and probably vision, make the leap.
Changing jobs or careers is scary regardless, but I promise you it is way worse without a safety net that, believe it or not, those extra months on your current job can create.